Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
