This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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