If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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