I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
