you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
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My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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