I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
