Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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