I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize