His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
