Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
