so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
