FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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