TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
