by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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