i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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