FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
