operation have a gay friend backfired
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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