He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
