I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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