Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
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In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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