3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
