i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize