You can't motorboat a personality
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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