I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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