so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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