its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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