Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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