Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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