Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you never un-have a 4some
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize