i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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