Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
