we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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