I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize