Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
