So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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