call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
