Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
