Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
