And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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