Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
