i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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