I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
