I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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