The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
