The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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