I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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