Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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