I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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