with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
