One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
