last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
