wat bout pragnant strippers??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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