Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
