Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
