Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
