But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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